I have decided to come out from behind the camera and put my body where my mouth is. Over the next few weeks, I will be getting in front of the camera for a change. Both self shot images and with other awesome photographers in and around Atlanta. I’ve been in front of the camera before for Oleg Volk and a few others. What sets these photos apart, however, is the subject matter. I’m going to be setting up and posing for the same kind of nude art and mild erotica that you see here quite often.

For years I’ve been preaching the joys of body freedom, of a life without shame and a love of ourselves in all our shapes and sizes and textures. Those markings the world calls blemishes or flaws, the softness of our belly or thighs, the wrinkles around the eyes or on the cheeks, the smooth bald spot on our heads, the grey or silver streaks in our hair are all part of the story our bodies tell. That story is our life as we’ve lived it.

Sometimes that story is one of hardship and injury and rough living. Sometimes that story is a sedentary one devoted to the pursuits of the mind. Sometimes that story is one filled with the signs of child birth and the trials and joys that go along with bringing a new soul into this world. But all of the stories written on our bodies are precious and beautiful things. We just need to learn how to read them.

That brings me to why I’m putting my story out to the world. Not in any kind of self agrandizing memoirs or witty narrative with poignant stories of childhood friends and adventures. No, I am letting my body tell the story with all it’s bumps and bruises and joys and loves and hatreds, choices made and choices made for me.

There is another reason why I’m looking forward to getting in front of the camera and that is to get a chance to see myself the way others see me. I so rarely see myself in anything other than the bathroom mirror and very occasionally a full length mirror in public somewhere. I’m deliberately seeking ways to reset my internal body-image; that version of ourselves we see when we close our eyes and imagine what we look like.

As a photographer, we’re required to look at all the minutia of a person’s body; it’s shape, texture, position, the way they hold their head, their arms, legs; the way their breasts or belly or other parts fall or move or stretch. Those minute details that we use light to accentuate, hide, or change are something we can’t ignore. However, we also have to step back and see the person as a whole. We have to see who they are and what they are. Their personality, their loves, their hatreds, all that makes up the person. All that, taken together, is what makes a person beautiful. That’s the source of their vibrancy, their beauty; a glimpse into their soul.

It’s that second part that we too often forget to do when looking at ourselves. We’re not the subject of the art we’re creating. We’re just a reflection in a mirror. But if we take a minute and look at that reflection the way we look at a person through the lens, it really changes what we see. Changes how we see.

Without that artists view, all we’re really seeing is a ghost image of our inner eye’s view of ourselves. What we think we look like; who we think we are; who we’re afraid we might be. It’s a false image painted by others from our pasts and present.

From a purely physical standpoint, shape, weight, size are only important if they prevent us from doing and enjoying the things we love. I want to lose about 12-14 inches off my waist because my belly gets in the way of things I desire and love doing with my friends, my partners, my lovers and my wife (who’s all three of those wrapped up in awesomeness). Not because I’m “fat”, but because it’s just physically in the way. The extra weight also saps my energy and interferes with my enjoyment of the people and things I love.

As I tell some of my models, try looking at yourself as if you’re looking at a complete stranger. Take in all the things about their personality, their expression, the look in their eyes, their smile. Then let that become your inner vision of yourself instead of the false image imposed on you by others.

That’s a lesson Wendi and I have both taught each other by the simple method of looking at each other the same way. With my photography, I strive to show on the screen or on the wall the same thing I see when I look at a model. One of the greatest compliment I’ve ever received about my photography was a friend who, when she looked at the photos I had taken of her, the only nudes modeling she’d ever done up to that point; and said “My god, I’m beautiful! Is that what you see when you look at me?” When I honestly told her “Yes. Always.” I ended up with a joyously weeping model crying on my shoulder.

So here I am, dear readers, in all my glory. I give to you a peek into my soul, a view of my self and a chapter or two of my story. If these images, these ‘pages’ of my story touch you in some way, any way, then I have succeded in my goal. All I ask is that you examine with honesty and humility what you feel, and why and then choose, deliberately, whether that feeling should really be a part of your life and part of your soul.

If you’ve made it this far, I challenge you to go look in the mirror. See yourself the way you see others. Not the imagined flaws and disappointments, but the beauty, the life, the vibrancy. The potential. Then go tell that story to others and read theirs and helpo make the world just a little bit more beautiful for all of us.

Scott